


Take it back

by Pitou



Series: The difference between love and addiction [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: (Just kidding), Alternate Canon, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Smut, chrollo is a terrible person who i love to torture, chrollo’s pov, kurapika is a precious bean who doesn’t deserve any of what i put him through, such a cute and healthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 03:23:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20284585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pitou/pseuds/Pitou
Summary: "I love you.The sensation of Kurapika tensing up in his arms gets Chrollo to realise that he actually said it out loud."What did you just say?" Kurapika asks in a wary voice.Too late to back out now."Companion piece toLetting goandSee you in Hell





	Take it back

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to _Letting go_ and prequel to _See you in Hell_, set one year after Kurapika and Chrollo move in together in Meteor City.
> 
> It can be read as a standalone but you can also take:  
\- the chronological route: Letting go > Take it back > See you in hell  
\- or the angsty route: See you in hell > Letting go > Take it back  
;)

The way Kurapika furrows his brow and bites his lower lip as he concentrates on the menu in front of him is adorable. Chrollo likes that about him, the fact that he tends to overthink everything, even just choosing a dish at a restaurant. 

The waitress, however, seems less inclined to find it cute, since she keeps giving their table murderous glares. Well, it’s only natural, since they’ve been here for thirty minutes and haven’t ordered anything yet. Chrollo chuckles under his breath, but he’s not willing to rush things along, because he wants to enjoy this soft, peaceful Kurapika, whose most important concern is choosing what to eat. He wants to enjoy it, because it’s a rare sight, and because this evening is special. 

It's been one year today since what Chrollo considers to be the beginning of their official relationship, when Kurapika moved in with him in Meteor City. In a way, it's the closest they have for an anniversary.

He's pretty sure Kurapika has no idea about the significance of today’s date. Chrollo didn't mention it, because he figured Kurapika wouldn't be one for celebrating sentimental milestones. At least, not when it comes to their relationship. 

But even so, even if he's the only one marking the occasion, he still wanted to do something special. He'd planned on getting out of Meteor City for the day, maybe bring Kurapika to a place they've never been together. But that was before Kurapika informed Chrollo that he would be travelling to Kakin for work that very same week. 

After their return from the Dark Continent, Kurapika had taken up his former position as a Blacklist Hunter, and this kind of impromptu work-related trips were frequent. As per their agreement, they don't usually get involved in each other's carreers - if Chrollo’s livelihood could even be called that - but this time, Chrollo offered to accompany him. Kurapika was reluctant at first, but he relented after Chrollo told him that he had business of his own to conduct in the Kakin capital. That was a lie, of course, but he wasn’t about to give up on his anniversary plan because of Kurapika’s stupid job.

Once in Kakin, they'd spent their days apart from each other, and Chrollo had passed the time reading in their hotel suite or wandering about the city centre, looking for the best place in preparation for tonight.

He told Kurapika about his dinner plan at the last minute, when the reservation was already made, because he knew Kurapika would feel bad about cancelling, and it would make it easier for Chrollo to get him to agree to what looked suspiciously like a date night. Oddly enough, they’re usually not the type of couple to go out on romantic dates.

"Are you ready to order?" 

Kurapika jumps on his seat at the waitress’s irritated voice. He looks up at her, eyes apologetically wide as a light blush coats his cheeks.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! It's just... Everything looks so good that I'm having trouble deciding-"

"Just give us a few more minutes, please," Chrollo cuts in smoothly, giving the waitress a charming smile, but it clearly misses the mark, as the young woman frowns at him and rolls her eyes, before she heads for another table behind them.

"What are you having?" Kurapika asks, leaning forward towards Chrollo, who can’t help but chuckle again at the seriousness in his tone. Again, adorable. 

"Mmh..." Chrollo ponders, realising he hasn’t even thought about it, since all his attention was focused on the dashing young man in front of him. He takes a quick glance at the menu and picks the first item his eyes land on. "I thought the spicy vegetable dumplings sounded good."

Kurapika cocks his head at him.

"That's what I was thinking too..."

He falls silent again after that, and if looks could kill, the waitress's would have murdered them both by now.

"If something else caught your eye, we can always share," Chrollo offers, because even though he’s enjoying the situation very much, getting kicked out of the restaurant because they’re taking too long isn’t part of his plan.

"Oh!" Kurapika exclaims quietly. "That's... actually a good idea."

After a few more minutes of internal debate, Kurapika finally settles for the stir fry noodles with mushrooms, and Chrollo quickly gestures for the seething waitress to take their order.

The meal is delicious, and the company even more so. As they eat, they talk about the sights Chrollo saw during the week, and as always, he's amazed by the extent of Kurapika's interest and knowledge on foreign cultures. He talks about it with an excited gleam in his gorgeous brown eyes, and Chrollo finds that he likes them much better like this, without contacts, because it makes Kurapika’s expressions seem much more open, and honest. 

Chrollo leans on his hand and he really has to concentrate to make sure he doesn't lose track of what Kurapika is saying in the process of admiring him. 

When they're done with the main dish, they order the house special, some kind of rice cake with ginger filling, for dessert. The now friendly waitress informs them that it will take some time to be ready, and suggests that they take this opportunity to go and have a look at the terrace. 

Perfect. This is actually the main reason why Chrollo chose this place. The restaurant is located on a hill just outside the city, and though it may look inconspicuous from the outside, Chrollo knew Kurapika would enjoy the stunning view it gives on the whole valley surrounding the Kakin capital. Chrollo threads his fingers through Kurapika's to get him to stand up and follow him.

"Close your eyes," he says when they reach the door leading to the outside venue, and Kurapika must be in really high spirits tonight, because he frowns slightly, but complies without a word of protest.

Chrollo gives him a quick peck on the cheek while he's at it - making Kurapika startle and pout - and puts his arm around his shoulders to guide him to the edge of the terrace.

"Alright," Chrollo whispers, and revels in the gasp that escapes Kurapika's lips when he opens his eyes to the sun setting on the horizon, casting orange and gold onto the landscape in front of them.

He leans on the balustrade and Chrollo gives him time to take it all in. He’s got his own, far more interesting display to behold. Chrollo’s eyes run familiarly over Kurapika's graceful figure, barely hidden under his slim fit suit. Against the warm hues of the twilight, it almost looks like he’s glowing from within.

He is _ beautiful _.

"Enjoying the view?" Kurapika asks, teasing eyes swinging to meet Chrollo’s.

"Very much," Chrollo answers with a smirk, taking a step closer to Kurapika and catching a strand of blond hair to tuck it behind his ear. Kurapika's eyebrows perk up, cheeks taking on a rosy tint. Chrollo smiles at him and an answering look lights Kurapika's face.

"This is nice," he says, eyes uncharacteristically soft.

A surge of affection swells in Chrollo's chest at his words, and he slides an arm around Kurapika’s waist to press his body close against him. Grasping his chin to tilt his head up, Chrollo leans in to press his lips to his forehead gently, before moving down to his mouth. 

The kiss is nothing like their usual kisses. There is no urgency, no desperate need to cling to each other, because this kiss is all about tenderness and how soft and pliant Kurapika's lips feel against Chrollo's right now. Just a year ago, enjoying such a simple, intimate moment with him would have seemed unthinkable. Chrollo ends the kiss to hold Kurapika closer, burying his face into the side of his neck and breathing in deeply.

_ I love you. _

The sensation of Kurapika tensing up in his arms gets Chrollo to realise that he actually said it out loud. 

"What did you just say?" Kurapika asks in a wary voice.

Too late to back out now.

"I said, I love you," Chrollo repeats.

A long silence follows his words. Kurapika is still cradled in his arms, and Chrollo wishes he could see his expression, but when Kurapika pulls back from the embrace, his features are smoothed in a still and unreadable mask.

"For both of our sakes, I'm going to pretend you never said that," he replies dryly.

Chrollo sighs. Well, it's not like he expected a love confession from Kurapika. He would never even have brought it up if he hadn’t been so caught up in the moment, knowing how touchy Kurapika is about these things. 

Still, it's… disappointing.

"Forget it," Chrollo mutters, before turning away from him towards the view.

From the warm colours of the sunset to the low chirping of the night crickets, everything is the same as it was a few minutes ago, but it all seems duller now. Almost as if a spell has been broken. He steals a quick glance sideways and notices Kurapika gazing in the distance with a pensive frown, seemingly lost in his thoughts. 

"We should head back," Chrollo says after some time, and Kurapika turns his head and studies him for a few seconds, before he nods, and follows him back inside.

The rest of the evening passes slowly, and Kurapika is back to his usual demeanour, his protective veil of distant bleakness cloaking him once again. The dessert looks good, but Chrollo can't tell if it's really the case because it tastes like sand in his mouth. He tries to lighten up the mood with trivial comments, but it falls flat most of the time, so he stops trying after a while.

_ Well _ , Chrollo thinks, _ it was good while it lasted. _

When they’re done, Kurapika's chauffeur - one of the perks of being an eminent Blacklist Hunter - comes to pick them up in front of the restaurant. The irony of the situation, a chauffeur dispatched by the police department of the Hunter Association driving around one of the most feared criminals in the world, isn’t lost on Chrollo, and he snickers as the man opens the car door for them. Kurapika turns back to look at him with an interrogative frown but Chrollo just shakes his head and motion for him to get in.

The silence hangs heavy between them during the ride back. Kurapika looks out the window the whole time, refusing to meet Chrollo's eyes, but tension just screams through his posture, from the way his back is so stiff it doesn't even rest against the backseat, to his fingers drumming on his thigh. Chrollo sighs again, and asks the chauffeur to turn on some music as he turns to watch the landscape pass by the window.

This tense atmosphere feels more familiar, and Kurapika's coldness towards the end of the evening is just how he usually acts around Chrollo. It’s a far cry from where they started off, with nothing but murder and loathing in Kurapika’s eyes, but it’s still nowhere near where Chrollo wishes they were. And sometimes, just sometimes like tonight, he catches a glimpse of how things could be between them, if only the raging fire that burns inside Kurapika could be quenched. Chrollo knows it probably never will. A few scraps of quiet peace are all Kurapika seems to be willing to give him, but it’s okay. He’s never been one for letting even crumbs go to waste. He learned that the hard way, as a child.

He leans his head against the window and closes his eyes, exhaling slowly. He's glad that he decided to tag along for this trip, because it's nice to be away from Meteor City for a while. He wouldn't live anywhere else, but it can be suffocating, and no matter how relieved he was when Kurapika accepted to move in with him, he knows that this place doesn't suit him. Kurapika was made to live in nature, with the sun basking his skin and reflecting on his golden hair, laughing and carefree. Unsullied. But Chrollo crushed that future. He destroyed his heaven and cut down the angels that had dared to think they were safe from the world's ugly, greedy clutch. And he kept the last one standing, tainted and bloodied, for himself, and brought him to a place of filth and misery. A fond smile graces Chrollo’s lips.

_ Worth it. _

They get dropped off in front of their hotel, one of the most prestigious from the capital, another perk of Kurapika's position. Chrollo is almost sure his client must be from the Royal family, maybe even Queen Oito herself. He wonders what kind of case brought him all the way to Kakin. A threat to Prince Woble's life, perhaps? Not that he'll ever ask. Or really cares, for that matter.

The clerk recognises them and gives them a nod while handing Kurapika their key card. 

"When exactly is our plane tomorrow afternoon?" Chrollo asks nonchalantly as they wait for the lift.

"Half-six," Kurapika replies curtly, before getting into the cabin and pressing the button for the top floor. Chrollo follows him inside.

"We'll reach home late," Chrollo remarks, and Kurapika purses his lips, but makes no comment. "We still have a bit of time for sightseeing tomorrow, then."

Kurapika makes a small sound of acknowledgment as they leave the lift and head for their room. Chrollo snatches the card from Kurapika’s hand to open the door. He kicks off his shoes and walks over to the living room, tossing his jacket over the back of the loveseat.

"I was thinking that we could take a tour of the Royal library. I heard-"

"Take it back."

Chrollo turns back to Kurapika with a questioning look. He’s still standing in the doorway, hands clenched on either side of him.

"What are you talking about?"

Kurapika narrows his eyes at him. When he realises that Chrollo is not going to answer if he doesn’t elaborate, he walks into the room and closes the door behind him.

"What you said to me. On the terrace. Just… Just take it back."

Chrollo pauses, considering his answer.

"No," he states eventually.

Kurapika’s mouth opens. "Why?"

"Because I meant it."

Chrollo expected several different reactions to his words, but not a laugh. Kurapika is anything but ugly, and yet the cruel, mocking sound that’s coming from his mouth is.

"You really think this," Kurapika gestures between them. "Is love? This is nothing like love." 

"Then what is it?" Chrollo asks, annoyed.

Kurapika's hands clench into fists again. "Wrong. It is wrong. It's like... an addiction. Something you can't help but crave, even though you shouldn’t." He shakes his head at him almost pityingly. "You just can't tell the difference."

Anger starts to build inside Chrollo. He's rarely angry towards Kurapika - usually it's the other way around - but the way he’s dismissing him is deeply irritating. 

"You’re wrong," he says between gritted teeth. 

Kurapika clicks his tongue in disdain, and turns away from Chrollo to remove his shoes and hang his blazer on the coat stand. "You know what? Just say what you want. I don’t care," he scoffs. "We're not even talking about this." 

He tries to walk past him, but Chrollo grabs his arm and jerks him roughly towards him. Kurapika glowers up at him and tries to tug free from his grip, but Chrollo holds onto him.

"Let go of me," he warns, which prompts Chrollo to tighten his grasp. "Fuck. Off," Kurapika growls, and Chrollo complies when he notices the brief flash of fear on his face.

"You’re reacting like a child," Chrollo huffs, following Kurapika across the living room. Immediately he realises it was the wrong thing to say when Kurapika spins around to face him, irises turning crimson. 

"You really want to start something now?"

"Yeah, well, why not?" Chrollo jibes. "You already ruined the evening, so we might as well fight, for all I care."

Kurapika crosses his arms and sniffs in derision. "I’m sorry, did you say _ I _ruined the evening? You were the one who started spouting this love confession nonsense." 

"I didn’t even plan on saying it, but I just did, okay?" Chrollo says heatedly. "It was an ill-timed confession, that’s all." A pause. "But that doesn’t make it any less true."

Kurapika glares at him.

"I am so not in the mood for your mind games right now."

"Mind games? For fuck’s sake Kurapika, who do you think I am?" Chrollo says, exasperated, and he continues before Kurapika can counter with a no doubt barbed retort. "After all we’ve been through, you should know me better than that."

Kurapika gives a sharp laugh. "I’m sorry, Chrollo. I believe I lost sight of your romantic side when you slaughtered my whole fucking _ family _."

Chrollo’s face darkens. "And you murdered mine," he reminds him coldly. 

"Yeah? And what the hell is that even supposed to mean?"

Chrollo waits for a few seconds before he says it.

"It means that we're even."

Kurapika’s face screws up in anger and disgust. 

"Are you fucking serious? I had a reason!" His voice rises to a shout. "You started this! Do you think I would've gone after the Troupe if you hadn't killed my people first?"

Chrollo huffs. "Who cares about your reasons? You’re a murderer, Kurapika. Just like me."

Kurapika tears his gaze away from him and judging from his fast breathing, Chrollo guesses that he’s trying to regain control of his temper.

"I am _ nothing _like you," he eventually says, voice strangled.

"Yes, you are, and you know it. But this isn’t going anywhere," Chrollo snarls in frustration. "Why can’t you just let it go? We could be happy together. Like we were, earlier tonight."

At this, Kurapika looks up at him in astonishment, and a cruel smile slowly widens his lips.

"Oh, Chrollo," he sneers. "Your life must have been so sad if you really think this is what happiness is like."

That feels like a punch in the gut. It takes a lot for something to get to Chrollo, but it seems like Kurapika knows exactly which buttons to push to get under his skin. So of course, Chrollo reacts in the worst possible way, by saying what he knows will hurt him back the most. 

"You know, I wouldn't change anything. To the way we took their eyes." Some part of his brain is aware that he is going too far, but the words grate out of him almost against his will. "They were talking about it in the papers, afterwards. I'm sure you read that." Kurapika looks frozen in shock, so Chrollo crosses the few steps separating them to lift a hand, as if to comfort him. "I wouldn't change anything, because your rage is what brought you to me. My most precious treasure."

Kurapika physically recoils from him, and the raging, wild shade of red in his eyes is almost blinding. He fists a hand in the fabric of his own dress shirt and it looks like he’s having trouble breathing, but his gaze never wavers from Chrollo’s. His expression looks so _ broken _ and _ raw _ that it’s like looking at the face of pain itself. Chrollo wonders if that is what he looked like the first time he returned to his village after the massacre.

"You'll pay for what you did," Kurapika whispers, his voice murderous. "I will break you, and you will suffer like you never have before. I promise you."

His hatred is so strong it's almost palpable. Once, Chrollo would have revelled in it, in the knowledge that no matter how much Kurapika despised him, he was still willing to offer himself to him. But not anymore. This is wrong, and Chrollo just wants it to end, so he doesn't point out that Kurapika has already done everything he could to make him pay. He killed Chrollo’s friends, the only family he ever had, and he’s already proved that he can't kill him. The only way he could hurt Chrollo would be by leaving him, but they both know he's incapable of it. Otherwise, he would've already done so a long time ago.

Chrollo gives him a sad smile as he runs a finger slowly down Kurapika’s cheek, ignoring his flinching. "Do you worst, darling."

And he leans down to kiss him. 

He's almost surprised not to feel Kurapika push him back, or bite into the meat of his tongue as he deepens the kiss. Instead, he's being strangely passive, almost catatonic, as if all his fighting spirit has gone out of him. 

Chrollo swipes his tongue over Kurapika's bottom lip before nibbling lightly at it with his teeth, but Kurapika is still unresponsive. This won't do. 

Chrollo threads his fingers through Kurapika's hair and tugs sharply, trying to get some sort of reaction out of him. Sure enough, Kurapika makes a quiet growling sound in his throat, and Chrollo pushes him hard against the nearest wall, pressing their bodies flush against each other. He digs his hands into Kurapika’s hips and bites at the line of his jaw, drawing another low groan from Kurapika. Chrollo grins against his skin and undoes the buttons of Kurapika’s dress shirt to expose his chest. He pulls back for a few seconds to admire how Kurapika looks, hair wild and scarlet eyes matching his reddened, kiss-swollen lips. The sight turns him on like nothing else, and Chrollo slowly slides down Kurapika's shirt off his shoulders to let it drop on the floor. The empty look in Kurapika's eyes lights up with a familiar spark of hunger. Good.

Chrollo takes him by the shoulders and pulls him forward to catch his mouth into another hard, open-mouthed kiss and this time, Kurapika reciprocates right away, opening up to let Chrollo's tongue chase his own. Chrollo rakes his fingernails down Kurapika's sides, hands settling on his hips once again. The sound of Kurapika’s soft little pants makes Chrollo strain almost painfully against the fabric of his trousers, but he ignores his own need for now, because he wants to focus on Kurapika first. He wants to make him forget about their silly fight and to remind him of just how good Chrollo can make him feel.

Without breaking the kiss, he nearly rips the buttons of Kurapika's slacks, silencing his protests with a kiss. He shoves a hand down his boxers, wraps it around him, and starts to stroke him forcefully, almost aggressively. Kurapika gasps and pulls away from the kiss to rest his head against Chrollo's shoulder, breathing heavily through his nose.

It doesn’t take long for Chrollo to bring him fully hard. He continues to stroke him for a short while, and then drops to his knees to pull Kurapika's slacks and underwear down. 

Kurapika sucks in a breath when Chrollo swipes his tongue over his tip, and one of his hands immediately buries in Chrollo's hair. 

Chrollo starts by running his tongue over the spots he knows Kurapika likes, before he wraps his lips around his length and takes it in his mouth. He hums and looks up at Kurapika, who is watching him through half-lidded eyes, mouth parted and head thrown back against the wall. Chrollo locks their gazes together and pulls away completely, before slipping him back into his mouth again, picking up the pace and alternating pressure in a way he knows drives Kurapika crazy. He’s rewarded by a deep moan, and Chrollo pulls his mouth away to go back at licking and sucking at Kurapika’s sensitive spots, around the base and over the underside of his cock. He feels Kurapika tremble and guesses that he is having trouble staying standing, so he reaches his left arm around his lower back to hold him upright. They’ve done this so many times now that Chrollo knows which sounds and signs to look out for before Kurapika climaxes, and as soon as he feels his whole body tense up, Chrollo takes him in his mouth to swallow up his release. Like everything about Kurapika, it is exquisite, and slightly salty.

He raises back up, making sure to hold Kurapika, who is still coming down from his high, to prevent him from slumping down to the floor. 

Chrollo cups his face and kisses him again. He knows Kurapika can taste himself on his tongue, and that only excites him further.

"Bed," Kurapika breathes hoarsely between kisses.

Chrollo doesn't try to hide his victorious smile as Kurapika walks out of his fallen clothes and wraps his arms and legs around Chrollo to let him carry him to the bedroom. Chrollo drops him on the mattress and takes his time getting out of his own clothes, knowing it will take a few minutes for Kurapika to recover from his orgasm. Kurapika just watches him with wide eyes, lying on his back, naked and not even bothering to try and cover himself up. Chrollo doesn't pass up the occasion to drink in the sight. 

When he's down to his underwear, he climbs on the bed over Kurapika, and delves right back in, running his tongue over Kurapika’s lips before devouring his mouth. Kurapika arches up against him, pressing his burning hot body close against Chrollo’s and sliding his fingers into his hair. Chrollo groans into the kiss when Kurapika’s nails rake against his scalp.

One of Kurapika's hand reaches down to palm Chrollo through the thin fabric of his underwear, and he knows he mustn't allow him to touch him yet. Otherwise, it would make everything end, way, way too soon, so when Kurapika starts to play with the hem of his boxers, Chrollo grabs his wrists to pin them to the bed. 

Panting hard, Chrollo takes a few seconds to collect himself. It never takes much for Kurapika to work him up, and tonight is no exception. 

Still keeping hold of Kurapika's arms, he leans down to trail his lips and press light kisses along the column of his throat. He nuzzles the gentle curve of his shoulders and lets his head rest there for a short while, submerged by the warm feelings he feels for this man. He lets go of Kurapika's wrists to slide his arms underneath Kurapika’s back, holding him close and closing his eyes to savour the moment. Kurapika was wrong before. There is no way this is anything but love. 

"Hurry up," Kurapika urges impatiently, and a bitter taste climbs up Chrollo's throat. This is still merely physical for him, and Chrollo is surprised to realise just how much that bothers him. 

Pulling away slightly, he lets his hand ghost along the side of Kurapika’s neck, settling around his throat.

Chrollo presses. 

Kurapika makes a startled sound, between a whimper and a moan, and Chrollo presses down harder, cutting off his air supply for a few seconds before releasing the pressure. Kurapika doesn't protest. On the contrary, he leans his throat back to give Chrollo more access, and Chrollo hates it. He doesn't need to be reminded that sleeping with him allows Kurapika to fulfil his martyr complex.

No matter what he does, he will always be Kurapika's big bad wolf, that he uses in his own twisted way. Well, two can play that game. Kurapika can use him to get his pain alright, but Chrollo can just as well use him for his pleasure. He's never been one to deny himself a beautiful thing when it is offered to him, and he knows that Kurapika will not hesitate to tell him if he goes too far. But it has never been the case before, and Chrollo doubts it will be now.

He releases his hold on Kurapika's throat and pushes himself up onto his knees to get out of his underwear. Looking down at his former enemy, he nearly growls in satisfaction at how utterly _ debauched _ Kurapika looks, skin flushed, strands of his hair sticking to his forehead and eyes glazed with lust looking straight at him. Chrollo feels the sudden urge - no, the need - to possess Kurapika, to bury himself into him until he reaches his very soul. 

He quickly grabs the small bottle of lubricant they left on the floor next to the bed and pours a good amount on his fingers, bringing them to Kurapika's entrance and circling around it to warm it up. Kurapika squirms and bucks against his fingers, and Chrollo presses a hand over his chest to keep him still. When he finally pushes two fingers inside, Kurapika throws his head back and moans audibly, hands shooting up to grip Chrollo’s shoulders as his whole body tenses and arches up at the sensation of being entered. Chrollo usually goes slower than that, but he is not in the mood tonight.

His fingers move in and out of Kurapika, and he soon adds a third, easily finding Kurapika’s sweet spot and brushing against it with each push. Short little gasps keep falling from Kurapika’s lips, and he’s still clinging desperately at Chrollo’s shoulders. When Chrollo estimates he's prepared enough, which is really when his own need becomes too pressing, he removes his fingers, and quickly slicks his own hard, aching length. Lifting one of Kurapika's legs, he hooks it around his waist to give himself more leverage and access.

He positions himself against his entrance and pauses, staring down at Kurapika's face, waiting for him to meet his eyes. He does and Chrollo just looks at him for a brief moment, drinking in the burning desire mirrored in Kurapika's gaze. This is usually the time when Chrollo would be teasing him until Kurapika is reduced to a writhing, begging mess. But again, not tonight.

He thrusts into him all the way and Kurapika’s loud, gasping plea sounds distant as Chrollo grunts in pleasure. Without giving Kurapika time to adjust, he pulls out and slams into him again, harder this time. Kurapika twists his hands into the sheets and lets out a breathless moan. He only gets vocal when Chrollo is being rough like this time, because he’s usually too petty to allow him to know how good it feels. 

Light-headed with rapture, Chrollo grabs both of Kurapika’s wrists, trapping them above his head again and starts to pound into him with abandon. Kurapika's eyes squeeze shut, and his mouth falls open in a silent wail. It almost looks like he’s in pain and Chrollo can't bear to see this expression so he flips him over on his stomach, and pushes his knees wide apart.

Ignoring Kurapika’s whine at the interruption, he settles himself between them. Chrollo traces the line of his spine, down to his buttocks, and Kurapika’s body visibly shivers. A wicked smile curls Chrollo's lips. Holding Kurapika’s hips up with one hand, he uses the other to trace soothing patterns over Kurapika's lower back to lure him into a false sense of respite. Just when he feels Kurapika's body start to relax, he enters him again, and Kurapika stifles the strangled cry that tears from his throat by burying his face into the pillow. But Chrollo wants to hear him, so he fists his hand in Kurapika’s hair and yanks it back sharply, drawing another choked moan from him.

Satisfied, Chrollo starts to ram into him again, in slow but powerful thrusts that rock Kurapika forward and seem like they could split him in two. He increases the pace, and the noises Kurapika makes get lost in the dirty sound their bodies make when they meet. They've done this dozens of times now, but Chrollo knows he will never get tired of how warm and tight it feels inside Kurapika, and how powerful seeing him writhe underneath him makes him feel.

Releasing his hair, Chrollo grabs both of Kurapika's hips to pull him into each thrust. Hard. He can sense himself reaching completion, so he changes the angle in a way he knows will hit against Kurapika's pleasure point. Kurapika lets out a startled sob and clutches at the sheets in an almost desperate manner. Chrollo’s rhythm turns erratic and Kurapika's moans and inarticulate pleas get louder and louder, until a particularly powerful thrust pushes Chrollo over the edge. He digs his fingers mercilessly into Kurapika’s skin, holding him still as he comes deep inside him. Even in his dazed state, he can still feel Kurapika's muscles contract with his second orgasm. 

Chrollo stays joined with Kurapika while he catches his breath, before he lets himself slump off to one side, spent and exhausted. He turns to look at Kurapika, but his face is turned away from his. 

When he feels that the pleasured fog in his mind has cleared up a bit, Chrollo gets up wordlessly to fetch a towel from the bathroom. He wets it with lukewarm water and comes back to the bedroom to find Kurapika lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. Save for the irregular rise and fall of his chest, he’s entirely immobile, and deathly quiet. 

Chrollo sits down next to him and gently cleans him up, his movements slow and tender. He pretends not to notice the lone tear sliding down Kurapika's cheek. He knows what's in that tear. Remorse, guilt, and hatred, a good part of that last one directed at Kurapika himself. Chrollo looks away from the sight. He pulls up the covers over Kurapika as he slides in bed and turns away from him to avoid having to look at the evidence of his torment.

He closes his eyes but sleep evades him, because his thoughts are plagued by Kurapika's haunted look from their earlier fight. He cringes when he recalls some of the things he said to him. He meant every word, but perhaps, some things are better left unsaid.

Chrollo knows he made a mistake tonight, but he's not giving up.

Even if it takes decades, he will find his way into his heart. Kurapika will learn to love him. 

In time.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I think this is it for this series!
> 
> I've had a lot of fun writing about these characters, and you have no idea how ridiculously happy each of your comments and kudos made me feel. So thank you all very, very much. You guys are gems ♥
> 
> And Léa, ma puce, I can't thank you enough for your support, ideas, help and great taste in manga/anime. _Of course_ I was going to love hxh and obsess over Kurapika. You know me ;)


End file.
